Beautiful Day to Read a Book Outside Actually Too Bright a Day to Read Outside
Thousands of people across Seattle are reporting that what at first seemed the most beautiful, picture-perfect day to read a book outside is actually...
Belltown Resident Excited Order Tracker Shows Only 90,000 Minutes Left Until Moto Pizza Ready
Overjoyed that he won’t have to wait literally forever to satisfy his craving for Detroit-style pizza here in Seattle, today Belltown resident Bryan Miller...
Ugh: White Coworker’s Cinco de Mayo Guacamole Has Raisins in It Again
A local office Cinco de Mayo potluck took a tragic turn today when coworkers discovered that Teresa from Sales had once again destroyed an...
Local Man Just Really Fucking Hates Kirkland
Friends and family are at a loss today upon discovering that
local man Nate Solohan, without much detailed explanation, just really fucking
hates Kirkland.
“I mean,...
Wile E. Coyote Steps Down as Sound Transit CEO After Giant Clock Falls on Northbound Tunnel
Following a catastrophic incident in which a cartoonishly large clock fell onto Westlake Station’s Northbound tunnel and indefinitely disrupted light rail service, today Sound...
Mayor Harrell Begs May Day Protesters to Come Back to Downtown
Shocking business leaders and, more importantly, key reelection donors, Seattle Mayor Bruce Harrell made a desperate plea to May Day protestors this morning: Please...
Independent Bookstore Awarded Purple Heart for Injuries Sustained In Combat with Amazon
Today courageous Greenwood independent bookstore, cafe and devoted third place for artists and old ladies talking shit about their husbands, Couth Buzzard Books, was...
Seattle’s Man Buns Blossom As Spring Finally Underway
Long tucked into beanies and snapbacks, Seattle’s man buns are finally emerging from their cotton cocoons and blossoming into waves of follicle foliage just...
Is It Actually Spring or Are You Being Sunlighted?
You know what they say: If you’re in a season that feels and looks too good to be true, it probably is. Here are...
Childless Couple Thoughtfully Leaves Out Water Bowl for Friends’ Toddler
One childless couple reportedly went the extra mile ahead of a visit with longtime friends today after they thoughtfully left out a water bowl...
