‘Championship Parades Are for Losers,’ Says Mariners Fan Who Wakes to Wet World Series Dream Daily
Asked if he attended the raucous Seattle Sounders’ MLS Cup Championship Parade through Downtown Seattle Tuesday, longtime Seattle Mariners fan Jimmy Slater said no...
Local Psychopaths Camping This Weekend
According to inside sources, certified crazy people Shyan Burke and Mikaela Hopkins of Fremont have already headed up to the mountains this weekend to...
Op-Ed: They’re Building an Apartment Complex Inside Me
Guest post from Off Leash News
I don’t know why I didn’t see it coming. I saw it everywhere: A sign announces a new apartment...
Washington Resident Bored By Local Elections, Prefers Exhilaratingly Relative Powerlessness of Voting for President
Utterly bored by the exponentially higher impact his voting
choices would have on his daily life and immediate community in a local
municipal election, Seattle voter...
Bumbershoot Instantly One-Ups Coachella, Books Creed Reunion to Headline 2020 Lineup
Today's news that Rage Against the Machine will reunite to headline the 2020 Coachella Music Festival was quickly overlooked by quick-acting talent buyers at...
Tim Eyman Slips in Initiative Declaring He ‘Does Not Look Like an Ancient Harvest Idol Carved from a Rotten Turnip’
It’s election season in Seattle, and that can only mean one thing:
A bulbous ballot stuffed with Tim Eyman-authored initiatives designed to skirt
any concern for...
Seattle City Council Candidate Beff Jezos Surges In Polls Following Massive Campaign Donation From Amazon
As the Seattle City Council race continues to heat up, emerging candidate
Beff Jezos has surged in the polls following a slew of donations from...
Sunshine Soon to be Replaced by Eternal, Inescapable Darkness
By Seadiff Nass, Needling Meteorologist
The forecast isn’t looking good. No, my friend,
it looks grim indeed.
I’ve been studying my meteorological charts and
my radars, and the...
Minutes Before Hot Ohio Debate, Sen. Elizabeth Warren Still Obsessively Fantasizing About Seattle
With time running out to psych herself up for a highly anticipated debate with Ohio’s swing-state audience tonight, democratic presidential candidate Sen. Elizabeth Warren...
Man Takes Son to Niagara Falls
This weekend a local father and son bonded before the thundering and majestic waters of Niagara Falls, located just 45 minutes east of Seattle....
