New Capitol Hill Streetcar to Travel 2-Block Trek from Frankie & Jo’s to Mighty-O’s
With the overdue and overbudget First Avenue Streetcar project on ice after a canceled contract, the City of Seattle announced Friday that it would...
New Luxury Apartment Building Offers Full-Amenity Dorm Experience
As luxury apartment buildings
offer larger common areas and more onsite amenities, the new Haflwaye Haus
Lofts on Capitol Hill takes the logical next step of...
Jay Inslee Caught Sucking Car Exhaust From ’87 Camry in Desperate Bid to Halt Emissions
Police were hailed to a bizarre scene at an Olympia convenience store today when Governor Jay Inslee was discovered sucking car exhaust from an...
Seahawks Sideline Reporter Lost In DK Metcalf’s Pecs — Eyes! Eyes
Social media was set ablaze today as an NFL sideline reporter was caught absently staring into the chest of DK Metcalf, the hulking rookie...
As Summer Closes, Get That Warm Pee Smell in at Cal Anderson While You Can
The time is nigh to say goodbye once again to another glorious Pacific Northwest summer punctuated by beach-worthy days, fresh mountain hikes, and, of...
Genetically Enhanced ‘Super Doodle’ Escapes Rover HQ, Does Heckin’ Good Job Terrorizing Belltown
Seattle’s Belltown neighborhood is left in shambles today after a hulking, mutated ‘Super Doodle’ escaped overnight from a top-secret experimental lab housed within the...
University of Washington Won’t Stop Bragging About Massive Endowment
Why hello! Are you amongst the throngs of eager masses pining for as much hot-off-the-pressing-of-many-buttons real fake local news as you can get?
Well then,...
Teachers Soon to Drag Their Lazy Asses Back to School
Nearly 60,000 Washington state public school teachers, notorious for their ample paid-time-off antics, will reportedly get back to remembering what a little hard work...
Seattle Mariners Just Gonna Let Fan Throw Out Ceremonial First Inning, Too
As the struggling Seattle Mariners find themselves an indomitable
thirty-one games out of first place, Mariners skipper Scott Servais made the
unique call last night to...
Office Nerf War Gets Fucking Real As Dog Accidentally Hit In Crossfire
A Seattle office is in turmoil today after a lighthearted Nerf battle turned sour when the office’s resident dog, Princess Muffintop, was struck by...
