A Seattle office is in turmoil today after a lighthearted Nerf battle turned sour when the office’s resident dog, Princess Muffintop, was struck by an errant dart.
“The moment Princess Muffintop let out that feeble yelp, it was utter chaos,” said Martin Bergman, staff accountant at Koira Enterprises.
Flimsy foam alliances were broken as finger pointing set off a squishy gunfire skirmish. Glasses were stepped on. Soy lattes were spilled.
Katelyn Schmidt, Princess Muffintop’s owner, allegedly went on a rampage following the accidental attack on her beloved BullHuaHua mix.
“Katelyn went ballistic, letting out a blood-curdling scream before marching into the middle of the room, Nerf guns in each hand, to mow down the entire marketing department in a flurry of neon death,” Bergman said, trembling at the thought of his co-worker’s vengeful wrath. “When she ran out of ammo, she pistol whipped me with zebra-striped plastic and told me to beg the dog for forgiveness.”
Bergman, now wearing a shirt that proclaims ‘Proudly Owned By Princess Muffintop’, looked over his shoulder and lowered his voice to a whisper.
“She made me kiss the dog’s manicured toenails and swear fealty,” Bergman said. “I wasn’t even the one that shot Princess Muffintop, but I thought my only chance of survival was to submit to the dog’s demands. Now when Princess Muffintop arrives, I’m required to lay down and allow her to walk over me as she enters the office.”
While two accountants remain down for the count and one blinded software engineer is expected to delay the next product launch, Princess Muffintop is thankfully expected to make a full recovery.
