Federal Agents Shoot 2 People in Portland Who Threatened to Exist
Just a day after an ICE agent killed a mother in Minneapolis, federal agents shot two people in Portland Thursday after they allegedly threatened...
Seattle Begins Ghosting Rest of Nation by Acting Weird Ahead of Valentine’s Day
Admitting it’s left them on read after winning the Super Bowl on Sunday, today Seattle confessed it’s begun ghosting the Nation by acting weird...
NextDoor Creates Certification Program for Identifying Fireworks Versus Gunshots
After years of residential confusion, NextDoor announced today it’s launching an official online certification program to help people with no better way to waste...
Rep. Pramila Jayapal Endorses both Seahawks and Patriots
After months of 99.9% of her constituents asking her to root for the Seahawks, Seattle Congresswoman Rep. Pramila Jayapal announced to the surprised delight...
Scientists Discover World’s Dumbest Person in West Seattle Blog Comments
Today University of Washington researchers announced they have discovered the world's dumbest person in the West Seattle Blog comments section."This is an historic achievement,"...
Entire Relationship Hinges on Getaway Weekend to Orcas Island
Local couple Vanessa and Patrick say they’re excited to relax and have fun on Orcas Island this weekend because only the entire direction of...
JD Vance Busts Team USA’s Terrorist Plot to ‘Cut Up the ICE’
After cleverly stuffing himself in an Olympic hockey lockerroom locker before someone else did, today Vice President JD Vance aka Special Agent 1488 reportedly...
The Next Titanic? This Couple on a Bremerton Ferry is Raw-Dogging in a 2002 Toyota Corolla
It’s been almost three decades since Titanic’s Rose and Jack rocked our worlds with their unforgettable love affair at sea. Now two Bremerton-bound lovebirds...
Bird Watcher Caught Honestly Watching Birds
Controversy struck Green Lake Park today after a bird watcher was discovered honestly watching birds.“I rolled over to reapply my sunscreen when I saw...
Furious Mayor Wilson Pounds Fist On Table Demanding Chalice Of NIMBY Blood
As her first act in office after her swearing in ceremony Friday morning, new Seattle Mayor Katie Wilson furiously pounded her fist on a...
