Research Shows Yakima Actually Nothing Like Palm Springs
Contrary to long-held claims made by an infamous Interstate 82 billboard, geographic experts at the prestigious Center for Obvious Studies shocked the world today...
Ravenous Gum Wall Ensnares, Consumes 4th Child This Month
Concerns over the famed Pike Place Gum Wall have been renewed after recent reports indicate that the disgusting tourist attraction consumed its 4th child...
Mount Si Celebrates Hosting One Millionth Second Date
State park rangers presented a surprised pair of hikers with a summit-top champagne toast today to celebrate the one-millionth second date held on the...
Pickleball Season Declared Open After Population of Courts Gets Out of Control
Today Fish & Wildlife declared Pickleball Season open in Seattle due to the population of new courts taking over the Fremont Theo Chocolate Factory,...
Capitol Hill Dick’s to Compete Against New McDonald’s with Even Stickier, Hairier Ball Pit
After rumors that a McDonalds is opening just up the street in the old vacant Rite-Aid building on Broadway, today Dick’s announced it’s prepared...
ICE Agent Still Not Sure He’s Wearing Baklava Right
Although one local ICE agent said he was initially happy to buy his own uniform and gear to carry out cruel extrajudicial crimes against...
Trump Demands to Be Considered a Holocaust Survivor
Jealous of the attention they got all day Tuesday for Holocaust Remembrance Day, President Donald Trump is now reportedly demanding to be considered a...
Seattle Man Leaves Out Plate of Cheese for When St. Rat Comes Up Through Toilet Tonight
With barely contained excitement, one Seattle man left out a special plate of cheese and milk for when St. Rat comes up through his...
Gov. Ferguson Backs Millionaire Tax After Ghost of Christmas Future Shows Him Losing In 2028 If He Doesn’t
In a stunning 180, today Gov. Bob Ferguson announced his support for a state income tax on millionaires after the Ghost of Christmas Future...
Protester Bites Off ICE Agent’s Micropenis
After getting mad at ICE just because they publicly executed ICU nurse Alex Pretti in the street for recording them with his iPhone, DHS...
