‘I Would Never Live in That Hellhole City,’ Says Man Already Living in Moses Lake
An Eastern Washington man who took to social media today to bravely announce that he would “never live in that hellhole city” confused thousands...
Nation Just Kinda Assumed Pacific Northwest Always Lived in Giant Puddle Like That
Asked why no one outside the state of Washington seems to care enough about its flooded communities that just lost everything they own right...
West Seattle Woman Posting About Importance of Community Doesn’t Know Names of Any Neighbors
As unverified rumors of ICE agents in the Seattle area circulated and got more people thinking about what they’ll do if they really do...
Phew! Armed Racist Assholes in Bulletproof Vests Just Local Cops
Panic about ICE taking over Seattle en masse next settled down today after it was discovered the racist assholes in bulletproof vests rumored to...
Timeout: Blitz the Seahawk Attempting to Mate with the SkyCam Again
The Seattle Seahawks were forced to burn a timeout during their matchup with the 49ers tonight after mascot Blitz the Seahawk entered the field...
Emergency Declared After President Actually Declares Emergency When Blue State Asked
A local emergency was declared today after President Donald Trump and Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem actually approved a federal emergency declaration...
Democratic Leadership Threatens to Drop More F-Bombs
In their strongest stand against the violent federal invasion of Minneapolis this month, today top Democratic officials threatened to drop more F-bombs on ICE...
QUIZ: Did He Ghost You or Is He a Washington State Ferry?
Sometimes it's hard to know whether he ghosted you or is just another Washington State Ferry taking off without you. Take our quiz to...
Gates Foundation Researching Cure for Associating with Pedophile
Today the Gates Foundation announced it would make an unprecedented $9 billion investment in an ambitious set of global health research goals this year,...
Diary Reveals MLK Also Had Second Dream Where He Had Jetpacks for Feet
A newly discovered diary shares that, in addition to having a dream his children wouldn’t be judged by the color of their skin, Dr....
