ICE Agents Still in Hospital After Being Shot Repeatedly by iPhones
Several ICE agents are still in the hospital today after being shot repeatedly by iPhones over the weekend.
“These attempted assassins shot our agents straight...
Uninvaded Seattle Beginning to Feel Like Trump Doesn’t Even Think It Has Antifa Anymore
As the city watched the Trump administration focus its ire and extrajudicial forces on just about every other liberal bubble in the country, today...
Sara Nelson Shows Hunts Point Mayor Hiding from ICE Protests How to Run Public Meeting from Secret Bunker
After hearing Hunts Point Mayor Joseph Sabey canceled his affluent Eastside town’s next public meeting to avoid people protesting his renting of facilities he...
Rapidly Aging 23-Year-Old Already Unsure Who Half of Capitol Hill Block Party Lineup Is
It was a sobering day for Cooper Ryan as he opened The Stranger to find an unfamiliar lineup at this year’s Capitol Hill Block...
Bill Gates Clarifies He Only Hung Out with Child Sex Trafficker for Fun, Light-hearted Conversation
To put rumors to rest that he participated in Jeffrey Epstein’s pedo ring, today Bill Gates admitted to Gates Foundation staffers that he only...
Washington Considers Billionaire Axe
Today a proposed “Billionaire Axe” had its first hearing in Olympia as it heads to a state House vote, garnering wide support but also...
Mount Rainier Expected to Let Out Little Fart in Celebration of Ash Wednesday
Geologists surprised and overjoyed Catholics across the PNW today when they announced this morning that Mount Rainier plans to let out a little toot...
Most Anticipated Movie of 2026 Just 90 Straight Minutes of ICE Slipping on Ice
Movie critics and audiences alike seem to agree that the most anticipated film of 2026 will be a no less than 90-minute supercut of...
Melting Snowman Curses Eight-Year-Old Creator for Pain of Fleeting Existence
As the snow from Friday’s wintery flurry begins to slowly fade away, one deformed, half-melted snowman has cursed his eight-year-old creator for condemning him...
Seattle Couple Plans Destination Wedding for West Seattle
Recently engaged Seattle lovebirds Kevin Hwang and Trucy Schmidt formally announced today that their destination wedding will take place on the far-flung shores of...
