Sold-out T-Mobile Park Crowd to Go Home with Commemorative Mariners Blue Balls
Although a thrilling week of games ended in elimination from the MLB playoffs Sunday, a sold-out T-Mobile Park crowd of fans didn’t go home...
Spokane Sheriff Blames ‘Kabal of Webster’s Dickshunary’ for Misspelling ‘Washington’ in Times Square Ad
Today the Spokane County Sheriff’s Office blamed the misspelling of their home state as “Washinton” in its giant Times Square police recruitment ads on...
Remember to Set Your Clocks Back to November 7, 2019 This Sunday!
Just in case you forgot: Instead of sticking with the norm of “falling back” just an hour this Sunday when Daylight Savings Time ends,...
Whoa! Seattle Man Wearing Carhartt Overalls Actually Has Done Single Day of Manual Labor in Entire Life
Defying all stereotypes of relatively affluent people co-opting working-class attire to look like affluent people who don’t want to seem too affluent but still...
Devil Says It May Take Several Days to Count All Souls Democrats Sold Him to Elect Ann Davison
Overwhelmed by the sheer number of Seattle Democrats who sold their souls to him over the last two weeks to elect the city’s first...
Man Unable to Vote After Being Buried in Avalanche of Campaign Mailers
A local man’s chances of reaching the ballot box were smothered today after an avalanche of election campaign mailers buried him alive after opening...
Man Shopping at U Village Amazon Books Just Wanted to Send an Extra Fuck You to Indie Bookstores
Unsure whether purchasing books quickly and conveniently online from Amazon had made it clear enough that he thinks local independent bookstores can go fuck...
Macklemore’s New Clothing Line Already Available in Thrift Shop Down the Road
Macklemore fans hoping to pick up a deal on $80 golfing polo shirts from the just-opened Capitol Hill retail shop for his Bogey Boys...
Man Dressed as Catalytic Converter Abducted While Walking to Halloween Party
A Ballard man became the latest victim of rising car part thefts across the nation tonight when he was abducted while walking to a...
Slick Lynnwood Guy Knows the Best Redbox in Town
Known locally as "The Tech King of Lynnwood," 53-year-old Dale Stevens exclusively confirmed with The Needling that he's got the Redbox with the best...
