Just in case you forgot: Instead of sticking with the norm of “falling back” just an hour this Sunday when Daylight Savings Time ends, this year all of Seattle is scrapping the whole thing and permanently setting all the clocks back to November 7, 2019!
“Clearly, this is what the city wants,” said Tina Crawford from the Pacific Northwest Daylight Savings Oversight Committee. “They want to remember looking forward to the turn of a new decade. They want to go back to a time when Jenny Durkan didn’t seem all that bad, and The Stranger wrote articles about Sara Nelson being a cool local business owner and not a batshit political hack.”
Considering local election results and a palpable excitement to get back to the pre-pandemic status quo, Seattleites are more than excited than ever to revert back to 2019.
“I’ve had a BLM sign on my lawn for a year, so I’m definitely a very progressive person, but honestly, I’m kind of over it. Personally, a year of trying to understand and repair harm from centuries-long systemic racism is quite enough,” said Seattle homeowner Annabelle Taylor. “It’s high time to get back to some vintage 2019 Live Laugh Love signs.”
Although the time change unfortunately does not include reinstating a healthy Russell Wilson as quarterback for the Seahawks or much respect for Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers, time experts confirmed it absolutely will re-establish the popular illusion that a black female police chief makes up for countless abusive white supremacists working at the Seattle Police Department.
