NPR Budget Cuts Spawn ‘Some Things Considered’ Program
The Trump administration asked Congress this week to rescind $1.1 billion already allocated for public broadcasting outlets including NPR and PBS, which has led...
FDA Bans Unleaded Baby Formula
In a long-awaited win for followers of Robert F. Kennedy Jr., today the U.S. Health Secretary announced the FDA has officially banned unleaded baby...
Man Celebrates American Independence with Fireworks Only Made in China
Today local man Barry Hughes said his hands-down favorite way to celebrate the indomitable independence, strength and self-reliance of America is fireworks only made...
Hungover Pete Hegseth Mortified He Posted Military Secrets on I-5 Uncle Sam Billboard
U.S. Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth was reportedly mortified after waking up this afternoon to discover he accidentally posted military secrets on the I-5...
Kennedy Center Adds 90 Minutes of RFK Jr.’s Warbled Scatting to Summer Jazz Series
Today the Kennedy Center amended their summer programming calendar to incorporate a full hour and a half of Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s scratchy, trilled...
Trump Wishes Himself a Happy Mother’s Day
As hardworking mothers across the country woke up this morning to flowers, breakfasts in bed, and macaroni art, today President Donald Trump told everyone...
Tragedy Strikes After RFK Jr. Vaccinated By Lone Doctor on Grassy Knoll
Tragedy struck today after Health Secretary Robert Kennedy Jr. was reportedly vaccinated by a lone doctor wielding a long-range syringe from a nearby grassy...
Tesla Owner Running Out of Room For Bumper Stickers Explaining Tesla Ownership
A local Tesla owner ran into trouble today after realizing that he had officially run out of room for bumper stickers explaining his Tesla...
Pfizer to Release New Breakthrough Depression Medication Called Money
Researchers at Pfizer announced a breakthrough medication today they say cures depression with an unprecedented 95 percent success rate they’re calling Money.
“Our trials concluded...
Mother Earth Fired for Being DEI Planet
After dutifully serving in her non-partisan role as the planet we live on for 4.5 billion years, Mother Earth was fired in a midnight...
