Neighborhood Cats Rejoice as Bongos’ Giant Litter Box Opens for Spring
Green Lake-area cats have declared litter box season officially open after the beloved Caribbean restaurant Bongos Cafe opened its giant sand-covered patio for the warm spring weekend ahead.
“Suns up, tails up! All us cats...
Belltown Resident Excited Order Tracker Shows Only 90,000 Minutes Left Until Moto Pizza Ready
Overjoyed that he won’t have to wait literally forever to satisfy his craving for Detroit-style pizza here in Seattle, today Belltown resident Bryan Miller was excited to see an order tracker update confirming his...
Ugh: White Coworker’s Cinco de Mayo Guacamole Has Raisins in It Again
A local office Cinco de Mayo potluck took a tragic turn today when coworkers discovered that Teresa from Sales had once again destroyed an entire bowl of guacamole with the addition of raisins.
“So many...
Childless Couple Thoughtfully Leaves Out Water Bowl for Friends’ Toddler
One childless couple reportedly went the extra mile ahead of a visit with longtime friends today after they thoughtfully left out a water bowl for their toddler, Jackson.
“We don’t have children of our own...
Relentless Pack of Girl Scouts Corners Man in QFC Parking Lot
A local man got more than he bargained for today when he was cornered in a QFC parking lot by a relentless pack of Girl Scouts after he attempted to elude them by slipping...
Ballard Resident Prepares for Weekend Road-trip to Beacon Hill
Determined to be prepared for the long journey ahead, today Ballard resident Claudia Davis spent the evening carefully planning for her big road trip this weekend all the way to Beacon Hill.
“Don’t get me...
Ivar’s Restaurants Release 50,000 Pounds of Fried Prawns Back Into Ocean For Earth Day
In an impassioned and excessive display of environmentalism, local restaurant chain, Ivar’s, released 50,000 pounds of fried prawns into the Puget Sound for Earth Day.
Studies have shown that, similar to humans, the Earth itself...
Local Mom Blows Dust Off Uneaten Marshmallow Peeps for 7th Straight Year
Continuing an Easter tradition like no other, today one local Mom retrieved the uneaten marshmallow peeps from a box in the garage and blew the dust off them before placing them in her children’s...
New Canlis Menu Written by ChatGPT Promises ‘Cunnilingus Adventure for Your Taste Birds’
No stranger to experimentation, famed dining destination Canlis reportedly asked AI chatbot ChatGPT to write tonight’s special menu, but discovered they might have a few kinks to work out after the program produced a...
Local FBI Agent Confused, Disappointed by Pi Day Celebrations
Local FBI Agent Dale Cooper went on record today to say that despite today, March 14, allegedly being Pi Day, he was disappointed to admit his investigation of local festivities didn’t even turn up...
