Local FBI Agent Confused, Disappointed by Pi Day Celebrations
Local FBI Agent Dale Cooper went on record today to say that despite today, March 14, allegedly being Pi Day, he was disappointed to admit his investigation of local festivities didn’t even turn up...
Inflation Woes Continue as Beth’s Cafe 12-Egg Omelette Now Costs $37,000
Inflation woes continued to mount today as diners excited for Beth’s Cafe grand re-opening were shocked to find that the surging price of eggs had resulted in their 12-egg omelette now costing $37,000.
“I should...
Seattle Couple Plans Destination Wedding for West Seattle
Recently engaged Seattle lovebirds Kevin Hwang and Trucy Schmidt formally announced today that their destination wedding will take place on the far-flung shores of West Seattle.
As they continue booking caterers and floral arrangements, the...
New Food Truck Launches Outside New Pop-up Inside Street Food Restaurant Down in Uptown
Nothing is splashing into the Seattle foodie scene this year quite like the city’s first food truck outside a pop-up inside street food restaurant, Nacho Po’ Boy.
“Our menu is disrupting the pop-up sit-down inside...
Man Perplexed By PCC Disposal Bins Just Eats Coffee Cup Instead
Confusion over which disposal bin PCC customers should put their trash came to a head today as Stephen Murphy of Fremont felt suddenly compelled to just stuff his paper coffee cup in his mouth...
Entire Relationship Hinges on Getaway Weekend on Orcas Island
Local couple Vanessa and Patrick say they’re excited to relax and have fun on Orcas Island tomorrow because only the entire direction of their four-year relationship hinges on how many whales pop and twirl...
#SmallBusinessSaturday Hero Eats City’s Entire Supply of Local Burgers, Donuts and Ice Cream
Financially struggling small businesses across the city are hailing Seattle resident Henry Rudolph today as a #SmallBusinessSaturday hero for somehow eating the city’s entire supply of local burgers, donuts and ice cream pints in...
Tucker Carlson Questions Why Dark Meat Needs to Be Served at Thanksgiving
Ahead of the long holiday weekend, today Fox News host Tucker Carlson said on his nationally televised program he just wanted to know why every year more of the liberal elite insist that dark...
Ghost of Jimi Hendrix Also Bummed It Has to Drive to Renton to Visit Grave
Ghost of late guitar legend Jimi Hendrix reluctantly visited his Renton Highlands gravesite under the duress of out-of-town guests today, a Greenwood Memorial Park groundskeeper confirmed.
“Man, whatever you got waiting for you in Renton...
Man Halfway Through 4th Peanut Butter Milk Stout Not Sure If Pang in Stomach is Regret or Diarrhea
As fall’s arrival kicks off craft beer season, tonight one local man’s ill-advised decision to indulge in a fourth peanut butter milk stout has left him wondering if the sudden pang in his stomach...
