Nice! Nature Treats Entire City to Free Sauna
After an incredibly stressful last year, the entire Seattle area was treated to a free, daylong sauna today by Mother Nature. Sweet!
“You all looked...
The Needling Wins Pulitzer Prize for Realest Real Fake News Reporting
Today the Pulitzer Prize, the most prestigious honor in U.S. journalism, was awarded to The Needling for Realest Real Fake Local News Reporting.
“For its...
Bezos Says This Year’s Prime Day Is Only the Stuff MacKenzie Left at the House
In a change of pace from typical Prime Day sales on high-in-demand devices and products, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos says this year Prime customers...
CDC Announces Masks Optional, Glaring At Maskless Passerby Still Required
Under pressure to clarify its COVID-19 guidelines, the Centers for Disease Control this week announced an update to its recommended precautions: Masks are now...
Kitchen-Dick, Woodcock Roads Finally Join OnlyFans
Decades-long diehards for steamy, Olympic Peninsula couple Kitchen-Dick Road and Woodcock Road are in luck tonight as the pair announced they’ve finally joined OnlyFans.
“We...
Vaccinated Man Shatters Windows with Sneeze He’s Been Holding in Since March 2020
A fully vaccinated Magnolia man is looking at a hefty repair bill today after releasing a sneeze that he’d been thoughtfully holding in since...
‘I Didn’t Even Riot That Much’ Says Outed SPD Officer
After being identified as one of the six Seattle Police Department officers that attended the January 6th Capitol Riot, Sgt. Wyatt Williams was quick...
COVID Takes Away Taste, Smell and 10 Months of Cell Phone Memory, Insists Mayor
Seattle Mayor Jenny Durkan revealed for the first time that a year ago today she had quietly dealt with contracting COVID-19 and experienced symptoms...
Newly Single Bill Gates Worried Date Only Into Him for His Tankards of Orphan Blood
Despite being completely fresh on the market with no strings attached, a newly single Bill Gates said he’s concerned the young employee he’s dating...
Local Woman Quells Anxiety About End of Mask Requirements with Weighted Gravity Mask
One local woman says she’s finally found a way to allay her anxieties about the gradual end of mask requirements by wearing a colorful...
