Raccoon Mortified to Learn He Took Date to Rummage Through Cybertruck Instead of Dumpster
A local raccoon was reportedly mortified today after realizing he accidentally took his Foragr date to rummage through a Cybertruck instead of a dumpster.
"I...
Mayor Harrell Introduces ‘Cop Vouchers’ So You Can Donate Directly to Your Favorite Police Officer’s Legal Fund
As Democracy Vouchers arrive in Seattle mailboxes this week, today Mayor Bruce Harrell announced his own new “Cop Voucher” program that you can use...
Tesla Owner Running Out of Room For Bumper Stickers Explaining Tesla Ownership
A local Tesla owner ran into trouble today after realizing that he had officially run out of room for bumper stickers explaining his Tesla...
Republican Lawmakers Warn That Abortion Ban Exceptions Will Lead to Dangerous Shortage of Child Labor
A coalition of Republican lawmakers came together today to warn that any exceptions in state abortion bans would lead to dangerous shortages of child...
Spokane Prepares for ‘March Month of Relevance’ Basketball Tournament
After it was made official over the weekend that Gonzaga had once again made the cut for the NCAA’s March Madness brackets, today Spokane...
Nestlé Scrambles to Bottle LA’s Remaining Water Before Firefighters Give It All Away for Free
Bottled water producer Nestlé announced today that they would respond to the ongoing LA wildfires by rushing to obtain the region's remaining water before...
Thanks, I Guess? Inslee’s Last Act as Governor Just Changing State Flag to George Washington’s Feet
Outgoing Washington State Governor Jay Inslee announced today that his last gubernatorial act would be changing the state flag's design from George Washington's face...
Starbucks CEO Announces Mass Layoffs Due to Quarterly Earnings Being Down or Up or the Same
Today Starbucks CEO Brian Niccol announced an even larger mass layoff for the corporate coffee giant after quarterly earnings were way down or up...
Sen. Patty Murray Busted Embezzling Extra Hour of Sunshine
Just weeks after re-introducing a legislative effort to make Daylight Savings Time permanent, U.S. Senator for Washington State Patty Murray was busted embezzling the...
Uncontacted Tribe of Mall Santas Discovered in Abandoned Pacific Place Mall
The local scientific community is buzzing today following the discovery of an uncontacted tribe of Mall Santas living inside the abandoned Pacific Place Mall.
"It's...
