Park Rangers Advise Hikers to Ward Off Bears by Loudly Announcing Median Housing Prices
As bears reach their most active foraging season to prepare for winter hibernation, park rangers are advising hikers this fall that the most effective...
Home Gardening Virtuoso Successfully Turns $800 into a Side Salad
As Seattle's home gardeners begin their fall harvest this month, today one mistro of the local homegrown produce scene impressed his family and friends...
Smokey Bear Authorized by NPS to Maul Noncompliant Campers
Underfunded, undermanned and facing the threat of another dire wildfire season in the midst of a global pandemic, a desperate U.S. National Park Service...
Mariners Father’s Day Game Welcomes Dads to Walk on Field and Admire Well-Kept Lawn
Inspired by the annual Run Around the Bases event, today the Seattle Mariners began a new Father’s Day Game tradition of inviting local dads...
Landlord Wouldn’t Have Rented You This Apartment If They Knew You Were Gonna Be All Uptight About Needing a Front Door
A local landlord was left in disbelief today after one of the tenants had the nerve to complain about their missing front door.
“After all...
Supreme Court Votes 6-3 to Officially Change Market Name to Pike’s Place
People all over Seattle today were horrified to discover that, hidden amongst last week’s unpopular Supreme Court decisions, was a 6-3 vote that has...
Transplant Celebrating 10 Years in Seattle Fears It’s Too Late to Ask How To Pronounce Sequim
One transplant’s 10-year Seattle anniversary turned from nostalgic celebration to a source of anxiety today after he realized that he might have waited too...
Rapidly Aging 23-Year-Old Already Unsure Who Half of Capitol Hill Block Party Lineup Is
It was a sobering day for Cooper Ryan as he opened The Stranger to find an unfamiliar lineup at this year’s Capitol Hill Block...
Melting Snowman Curses Eight-Year-Old Creator for Pain of Fleeting Existence
As the snow from Friday’s wintery flurry begins to slowly fade away, one deformed, half-melted snowman has cursed his eight-year-old creator for condemning him...
Seattle Aquarium Holds Thanksgiving ‘Orc-Porp-Phin’ Feast for Wealthy Donors
A clandestine Thanksgiving tradition was uncovered this week as intrepid Needling reporters revealed that a cabal of wealthy Seattle Aquarium donors were treated to...
