Julio Rodriguez Disappointed to Learn He Can’t Bring Home Run Trident on Roller Coaster
Mariners All-Star Julio Rodriguez was reportedly disappointed today when he was turned away from a Washington State Fair roller coaster after being told he...
Thanks, I Guess? Inslee’s Last Act as Governor Just Changing State Flag to George Washington’s Feet
Outgoing Washington State Governor Jay Inslee announced today that his last gubernatorial act would be changing the state flag's design from George Washington's face...
Smith Tower Vaporized After Seattle Central Library Accidentally Turns Sunbeam into Death Star Laser
Seattle unexpectedly lost a landmark today after a perfectly angled sunbeam bounced off Seattle Central Library’s windows and accidentally turned into a Death Star...
New Haunted Seattle Tour Guides Visitors Through Mariners Dugout
As of this week, fans of cryptic local history don’t always have to head down to Pike Place Market, Bill Speidel’s Underground Tour or...
‘Climate Pledge Arena’ Sign Removed After Speaking Out About Climate Change
Mere hours after Amazon announced that they had bought Key Arena and renamed it Climate Pledge Arena, Jeff Bezos announced that the sign was...
Father-Son Phone Call Enters Record 14th Minute Following First Sports Event in Months
After the cancellation of most sports events nationwide resulted in a disheartening downturn in father-son phone calls, spirits rose again as a recent call...
Space Needle Waiting Whole Life for This Moment
As a suspected Chinese high-altitude surveillance balloon floated high over the US today, the Space Needle assured Seattle locals that it had been waiting...
Boeing Kindly Offers to Fly All Whistleblowers to Their Court Dates on 737 MAX
In a show of cooperation with federal investigations and lawsuits questioning the safety of its plane assembly line practices and policies, today Boeing announced...
‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ Author Reveals Book Inspired by Sadomasochistic Relationship with E-Line Bus
In an exclusive interview with The Needling, Fifty Shades of Grey author E.L. James revealed her best-selling series was actually inspired by a brief...
Comforting Sense of Normalcy Returns to Seattle as Mariners Miss Playoffs
Following a tumultuous year for the city of Seattle, a comforting sense of calm and normalcy has returned to the city as the Mariners...
