New Study Finds Burien Just Fictional Place We All Imagined in Collective Fever Dream
King County residents were shocked today after a new study revealed that despite being slightly aware that a place called “Burien” exists, it was...
City Officials Remind Residents Find It, Fix It App Not Intended to Be Used on City Councilmembers
Citing five crashes of the popular Find It, Fix It app since five new City Council members were sworn in and Sara Nelson was...
WSU’s Entire Existence Forgotten Immediately After Final Apple Cup Game
After the last real Apple Cup game the Huskies and Cougars played against each other as longtime Pac-12 rivals today, it’s being widely reported...
‘Ghost of Black Friday Past’ Tramples Man and Takes His TV To Remind Him of True Meaning of Holiday
Today one man received a strong reminder of the importance of holiday spending season after the Ghost of Black Friday Past trampled him and...
Dog-Owning, Mountain-Climbing Brewmaster Realizes He Hates Dogs, Mountains, Beer
In a moment of inconvenient clarity atop Vesper Peak, one local man who has made his entire personality a combination of dogs, mountaineering, and...
Area Geoduck Wonders How Naked Man Breathes Through That Little Thing
Upon seeing a naked man in all his glory for the first time after a local New Year’s Day Polar Plunge today, one area...
Starbucks Adds to Holiday Line with Savory Gravy Frappuccino
Building upon the popularity of its signature Pumpkin Spice Latte, this week Starbucks is hoping to permanently add to its holiday line of seasonal...
‘This 8-Inch Road Divider Is a Trump Border Wall,’ Says Man Just Elected to 4-Year Term as Comedy Gold
In a show of incredible civic dedication, today West Seattle man Rob Saka kicked off his four-year term of being local comedy gold by...
Local Businesses Lit Up with Red, Green, White and Black in Solidarity with Palestine
Bravely taking a stand with millions of starving civilians being indiscriminately bombed every day with no safe place to go or escape, businesses across...
Look of Disappointment in Father’s Eyes is Gift Enough, Says Bellevue High Goth
After weeks of struggling to figure out what his son really wants for Christmas, Bellevue High School goth Brennan Kowalski assured his father that...
