‘No-Dogs-On-Beach Signs Don’t Apply to You,’ Alki Beachgoer Reassures Dog
After intuitively sensing tension from others about his presence at Alki Beach, today a three-year-old golden retriever was assured by his owner the “No...
Local Nonprofit Quietly Hoping Steve Ballmer’s Marriage Crumbles Before Next Fiscal Year
After a bleak fundraising year stifled by the COVID-19 pandemic, one local nonprofit says their only hope to make it through the next fiscal...
‘I Won’t Pass a 20-Year War onto Another President,’ Says President Passing 50-Year War on Drugs to Another President
In an honest and courageous address to the nation today, President Joe Biden bravely stood by his decision to not pass an expensive and...
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Local Asshole Uses Merging Lane How It Was Designed to Be Used
The heads of several drivers stalled in Seattle traffic exploded today after witnessing an asshole drive down to the end of an empty merging...
Gig Economy App LüpHole Offers New, Innovative Way to Pay People Less Than Minimum Wage
In a move Silicon Valley business experts say could give gig companies like Doordash, Uber and Postmates a run for their money, new startup...
Bar Patron Kicked Out for Being Unvaccinated Misses Halcyon Days of Getting Kicked Out for Being Belligerent
Shortly after Linda’s Tavern on Capitol Hill kicked him out for being unvaccinated, local bar patron Sean Upchuck says he just wishes everything could...
Local Hardware Shop Worker Wins Gold in ‘Camper or Murderer?’ Guessing Competition
In a stunning upset against Pacific Supply’s Wyatt Binder, longtime Stoneway Hardware worker Matt Hartaway came away from this year’s Pacific Northwest Olympics Camper...
Amazon to Offer Prime Deliveries Packed by Certified Humane® “Free Range” Warehouse Workers
Today Amazon announced it’s stepping up once again to solve world problems of their own creation by offering, for a nominal fee, deliveries packaged...
Manager Horrified to Discover Intern Left in Office During Pandemic Now Feral
A sales manager at a South Lake Union office was left horrified today after discovering his intern had gone feral after he was accidentally...
