Territory Between Fremont and Ballard to Be Officially Recognized as ‘FreeBall’
After years of juggling different names that caused friction in the area dangling between Ballard and Fremont, its residents officially announced today they have...
Broke Millennial Woman Freezes Eggs in Dippin’ Dots Pack
Drowning in debt and undecided about embarking on the adventure that is raising a child, one broke local millennial has opted to freeze her...
5 Ways to Keep Believing Crime Rates Are Going Up Even When They’re Not
Sometimes when hard data over the last few decades proves Seattle’s crime rates have drastically decreased, it can be hard to keep the faith...
CDC Recommends Breaking Up No Later Than Feb. 12 for Feb. 15 Rekindling
Ever the authority on clear, definitive health guidelines, today the CDC issued new protocols for those wishing to initiate a strategic, Valentine’s Day-circumventing breakup.
“After...
UW Cherry Trees Tired of Objectification
After years of being photographed simply for their beauty, cherry trees in the UW Quad have filed an official complaint with the Vice-Provost for...
Microsoft Looks Wistfully at Old Photos from When It Was Region’s Most Hated Tech Company
Sources close to the Microsoft Corporation reported hearing gentle sobbing at its Redmond headquarters today as the company stared at old photos from its...
What the Lifted Mask Mandate Means for Seattle’s Luchador Community
While many throughout Washington state are excited about pandemic restrictions coming to an end this weekend, Seattle’s luchador community says they’re struggling to come...
Budtender Asked for Strain That Helps Unwind After Work, Deescalate War in Ukraine
A local budtender was put on the spot today after a customer asked for a hyper-specific strain of weed that could not only help...
Activists Rush to Protect Seattle’s Construction Crane Canopy Ecosystem
Proposals threatening to clear-cut Seattle’s lush construction crane canopy came under fire today as development preservation activists packed City Hall.
The towering steel structures currently...
Short-staffed Hospitals Implement Self-Checkout Lanes for Unvaccinated Patients
Overwhelmed nurses at overcrowded local hospitals received real relief for the first time in two years this week with the welcome introduction of self-checkout...
