Whoa! Seattle Man Wearing Carhartt Overalls Actually Has Done Single Day of Manual Labor in Entire Life
Defying all stereotypes of relatively affluent people co-opting working-class attire to look like affluent people who don’t want to seem too affluent but still...
Local Woman Can’t Escape Café, Watching Everyone’s Stuff for a Second
Rescue crews are still attempting to extract a woman trapped on a Diva Espresso café patio in Broadview this evening after the woman promised...
Climate Change Officially Undeniable as Mariners Catch Fire for First Time in Ages
A worldwide consortium of scientists confirmed this morning that climate change is officially undeniable after even the Mariners caught fire for the first time...
‘COVID Ruined My Social Skills,’ Says Man Who Never Had Them to Begin With
At a weekend gathering of friends, local resident Eli Weber was reportedly quick to blame his complete lack of tact, grace and general unpleasantness...
Gum Wall Begins to Disappear as Vaccinated Residents Think ‘Sure, What the Hell’
Post Alley has transformed into a scene straight out of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory today as vaccinated adults ravage the once-beloved landmark, nibbling...
Puddle of Sunblock All That Remains of Seattleite Who Hit 80-Degree Melting Point
After taking what seemed an innocent stroll down the sunny Seattle waterfront, several witnesses say a puddle of sunblock is all that remains today...
Local Woman Just So Relieved Racism Is Solved Again
After watching a fairy-tale inauguration ceremony for President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris while basking in the beginning of a new era...
CEO Assures MLK Would Have Wanted You to Work Today
In and inspiring e-mail to staff who mandatorily worked on Martin Luther King Jr. Day, CEO of local tech firm HustleCorps assured his employees...
Sight of Smoldering Mount Rainier Fazes No One
As Seattle couples, joggers and children took a break from 2020 news cycles and indoor quarantining to enjoy a crisp yet sunny fall afternoon...
Patreon Online Real Fake Newsroom Workshop Discount
Want to be a real fake news (satire) reporter too? Join The Needling’s virtual/online 3-week real fake newsroom workshop!
Dates: Wednesday nights of Feb. 19, 26,...
