After sexist locker-room talk led to a contentious week between the US Men’s and Women’s Hockey teams, today the Women’s and Seattle Torrent Team Captain Hilary Knight said she has accepted an invitation to smooth things over by knocking the rest of Jack Hughes’ teeth out.
“Using his own team’s gold medals as pucks in this final shoutout round between us, I’m honored to on behalf of women everywhere knock every last remaining tooth out of Jack Hughes’ smile,” said Knight. “We’re way past getting a simple apology after what they laughed at in that locker room, who they allowed in that locker room, and then even hanging out with President Trump for the State of the Union, so I’m glad Jack realizes it’s going to cost even his back molars to make up for it.”
Jack Hughes says he is ready after inviting her to do so as a joke and incorrectly assuming she wouldn’t accept.
“Clearly, underestimating women eventually is its own punishment,” said Hughes as he enjoyed his last meal he’s able to chew. “Glad before I left the White House RFK Jr. gave me all that dehydrated roadkill protein shake powder for the road.”
At press time, Knight was looking at a giant clock necklace counting down the hours until knocking Hughes’ teeth out at Flava Flav’s party for women Olympians in Vegas.
