Mariners Spotted Having Steamy Summer Fling with Winning
Move over Bennifer: Several witnesses are reporting that what initially seemed at best a one-night stand or crazy weekend on the road between the...
Mariners, Seahawks, Kraken Congratulate Sounders on Winning Their ‘Little Jamboree’
Following the Seattle Sounders’ historic achievement as the first MLS team to win the Concacaf Champions League this week, representatives from the Seattle Mariners,...
Russell Wilson Excited to Be 5,280 Feet Closer to God
While many 12s are still crestfallen about the departure of Russell Wilson, the pious quarterback said today at practice he is riding high now...
Opening Day Postponed After Mariner Moose Refuses to Leave Breeding Mound
The Seattle Mariners' Opening Day was officially postponed today after the beloved Mariner Moose suddenly became territorial and refused to leave what he has...
Pete Carroll Assures Fans He Sucked All Heart, Joy, and Ability Out of Russell Wilson Before Trade
Still smarting from the loss of one of the best players the franchise has ever had, today Seahawks Pete Carroll assured Seattle football fans...
Seahawks Trade Russell Wilson for NFT of Lombardi Trophy
The Seattle sports landscape was shaken up today after it was announced that Russell Wilson, perennial Pro Bowl quarterback of the Seattle Seahawks, was...
Baseball Lockout Threatens Mariners’ Missed Postseason Streak
With news that the first two series of the season have been cancelled due to the Major League Baseball (MLB) owners continued lockout of...
Bobsled Competitor Details Rigorous Off-season Training at Wild Waves Theme Park
Local Olympic bobsledder phenom Will Hildegaard said part of how he keeps his competitive edge year-round is his off-season training at Wild Waves Theme...
Alex Honnold’s Credibility Questioned After Reports He Uses Ropes in Offseason
Shocking reports from Smith Rock State Park surfaced today after eyewitnesses claimed to have seen legendary free-solo rock climber Alex Honnold using a rope...
Pete Carroll Replaces Gum with Turkey Giblet
Looking to rebound from the recent retirement announcement of his longtime chewing gum, today Seahawks coach and chronic masticator Pete Carroll revealed what’s already...
