Fremont Troll Clarifies Kraken Mascot Only Related by Marriage
After the Seattle Kraken unveiled their new mascot, Buoy, was the nephew of the Fremont Troll, the beloved local bridge troll was quick to...
God Clears Schedule to Watch Russell Wilson Smite the Seahawks
Ahead of a Monday Night Football matchup between the Seattle Seahawks and Denver Broncos, God has reportedly cleared his schedule to watch Russell Wilson’s...
Mariners Wear New All-Leather Uniforms to Edge Fans for One Last Day
The Mariners surprised the sold-out crowd at T-Mobile Park today with all-leather home alternate uniforms to better edge their fans’ playoff division series hopes...
Adam Frazier Bobblehead Night Mix-up Sends Mariners Fans Home with Frasier Figurines
Mariners fans were confused AF today after a manufacturing mix-up ahead of Adam Frazier Bobblehead Night instead sent attendees home with a figurine of...
UW Quarterback Michael Penix Hasn’t Heard That One Before
After 22 years of living with the name Michael Penix Jr., the Husky star quarterback reported with delight at a pre-game press conference that...
Moose’s Paw Curls as Mariners Playoff Curse Passes to Sounders
After one local man’s wish for the Mariners’ two-decade playoff drought to end became officially realized Friday afternoon, the one and final cloven hoof...
UW Staff Officially Change Job Titles to ‘Head Football Coach’ to Earn Better Pay
After two and a half years of working with no pay increase, today University of Washington staff officially changed their job titles to Head...
Mariners Fans Still Skeptical They’ll Make Playoffs
After the Mariners triumphantly broke the longest playoff drought in men’s professional sports history Friday night, Seattle M’s fans confessed they’re still highly skeptical...
Seattle Still Choked with Smoke After Russell Wilson Attempts to Cook at Lumen Field
Just when the Puget Sound region thought they were going to be granted some respite from the Bolt Creek Fire, former Seahawks quarterback Russell...
Squatch Added to All-Star Zoo Doo Donor Line-up
Supersonics fans throughout the Seattle area rejoiced today upon hearing legendary basketball team mascot Squatch has been added to the Woodland Park Zoo’s prestigious...
