Smith Tower Vaporized After Seattle Central Library Accidentally Turns Sunbeam into Death Star Laser
Seattle unexpectedly lost a landmark today after a perfectly angled sunbeam bounced off Seattle Central Library’s windows and accidentally turned into a Death Star...
Homeless Encampment Swept Ahead of North Seattle Walk to End Homelessness 5K
North Seattle philanthropists rejoiced today when they learned police had swept a large homeless encampment just in time for their 9th Annual Walk to...
Groundbreaking Study Shows Bellevue Getting Better in Every Way Except Still Being Bellevue
As the local economic landscape continues to shift, a new breakthrough study shows Bellevue is giving Seattle a run for its money by getting...
SPS Contracts with IDF to Close All Seattle Schools
After much local controversy about which Seattle public schools the district will need to close for budgetary reasons, today the district announced it will...
Touching! How Kevin Spacey Inspired Former SPD Chief to Come Out as Gay Right After Being Accused of Sex Crimes
In the most touching story yet this Pride Month, this week former Seattle Police Chief Adrian Diaz thanked actor Kevin Spacey for helping him...
Seafair Pirate Boat Torpedoed by Coast Guard, So That Problem Is Finally Solved
After someone told them that a boat full of pirates have been terrorizing the city of Seattle every summer since 1950, today the U.S....
‘Please Kill Me,’ Says Up House Begging for Sweet Release of Demolition
As Ballard and the rest of the Seattle community continued discussing for the 16th year in a row potential uses of the house that...
Impressive Reckless Driving Record Scores Belltown Hellcat Job at SPD
After months of terrorizing and waking up Downtown Seattle with his insanely loud tiger-striped Dodge Charger that barrels down streets at more than 100...
Inslee Discovers He Has Enough PTO to Stop Being Governor Right Now
This morning Washington State Governor Jay Inslee was reportedly shocked when he stopped staring at the summer weather outside long enough to discover he’d...
Centralia Spontaneously Combusts Following Trump Verdict
Following the announcement that Donald Trump was found guilty on all 34 counts in the former President’s hush-money case, conservative stronghold Centralia reportedly spontaneously...
