Submissive Light Rail Rider Disappointed to Once Again Not Be Punished by Fare Enforcement for Not Having a Ticket
Today local light rail rider and sub Ryan Donnelly was once again let down by Sound Transit when its fare enforcement officers failed to...
Seattle Finally Concedes Portland is the Better PNW City for Newcomers to Move to
The City of Seattle put years of debate to rest today when it finally and officially conceded that Portland is definitely the better major...
City Council Confident You’ll Love Policies Passed from Secret Bunker
After making the unprecedented decision to completely end all in-person public comment in Seattle City Council Chambers, today Council President Sara Nelson said she’s...
Ballard Bridge Stuck, Halts Gentrification for 3 Hours
Today the century-old Ballard Bridge became stuck in the air at a near 90-degree angle due to a malfunctioning motor, halting all gentrification into...
Phew! Thing Slithering Through Garden Was Just Spineless City Councilmember Dan Strauss
Despite momentarily fearing for her life, today Ballard resident Anna Santos said the eerie thing she saw slithering through her garden this morning was...
Light Rail Operator Excited to Finally Find Out What’s in Lynnwood
Ahead of the Lynnwood Station grand opening on Friday, Light Rail Operator Tim Anderson is reportedly excited to finally find out what’s actually in...
Public Demands Smith Tower Be Converted Into Delightful Tower of Terror Already
After Smith Tower was recently sold again to yet another group of investors attempting to turn it into more office space Downtown Seattle doesn’t...
Tanya Woo Looking Forward to Seattle Voters Telling Her to Fuck Off for 4th Time Straight This Fall
King County GOP darling, landlord who’s not a big fan of Juneteenth BBQs, homeless shelter plan killer, affordable housing plan destroyer and currently appointed...
Disappointing: Seattle Public Library Employee Responding to Overdose Fails to Shoot Anyone
Tough on crime critics were reportedly disappointed today after a Seattle Public librarian quickly responded to an overdose, but failed to shoot the man...
Blue Angels Circle Seattle 12 Times in Attempt to Find Parking
The annual Seafair Weekend Festival got off to an odd start Friday when the highly anticipated Blue Angels performance turned into what was reportedly...
