Seattle Reaches Munchies Security Threat Level ‘Dorito Orange’ As QFC Locks Up Ice Cream
On the holiest of high days, 4/20, today threats to the local munchie supply chain reached the critically dangerous “Dorito Orange” level as QFC...
Pike Place Fish Market to Offer New Smoked Salmon Peeps for Easter
Just in time for Easter this next weekend, Pike Place Fish Market announced today it will be celebrating the holy holiday by selling local...
Bainbridge Island Thinks It’s Probably Time for You to Leave
Although its local merchants certainly appreciate your business, Bainbridge Island thinks it might be time for you to start headin' home, multiple shopkeepers have...
Costco Unveils New Belltown Signature Brand for Small, Overpriced Merchandise
Local wholesaler Costco announced plans today to expand upon the success of its high-quality Kirkland Signature brand with a new Belltown Signature line of...
Portage Bay Café Brunch Committee Bans Local Woman for Ordering Plain Waffle
The Portage Bay Café Brunch Committee handed down an official decision today to ban local woman Megan Thompson from weekend brunches permanently after finding...
Broke Millennial Woman Freezes Eggs in Dippin’ Dots Pack
Drowning in debt and undecided about embarking on the adventure that is raising a child, one broke local millennial has opted to freeze her...
Stevens Pass Solves Ski Season Staffing Problems with Unstaffed ‘Backcountry Days’
After weeks of its season pass holders complaining of overcrowded parking lots and ski lifts due to the resort not paying its workers enough...
Lime Wedge Coming to Terms with Future Inside Corona Bottle
After having nearly everything squeezed out of him, a local lime wedge says that he’s learning how to finally find peace inside of the...
Alaska Airlines Logo Only Person Smiling at Sea-Tac
After more than a week of canceled flights in and out of Seattle, officials confirmed that as of today the only person smiling at...
Galentine’s Day Gathering Swells into Category 5 Brunch Bender
The worst fears of those monitoring the inevitable havoc of a local Galentine’s Day gathering were confirmed late this morning when it made landfall...
