Man Perplexed By PCC Disposal Bins Just Eats Coffee Cup Instead
Confusion over which disposal bin PCC customers should put their trash came to a head today as Stephen Murphy of Fremont felt suddenly compelled...
Rash of Starbucks Closures Leave Locals Unsure of Where They Can Say They Would Never Get Coffee
With Starbucks closing numerous locations throughout Seattle, including the first that voted to unionize on Dec. 9, an increasing number of local coffee snobs...
Tofurky Petting Zoo Opens at Woodland Park Zoo
Appealing to a growing number of vegan and vegetarian families, today Woodland Park Zoo hosted its first Thanksgiving Day tofurky petting zoo to wide...
SeaTac Airport Cell Phone Lot Officially Classified as New Portal to Hell
In a joint press conference today, the FAA and Vatican confirmed that those selflessly waiting in the Sea-Tac Airport Cell Phone Lot to pick...
Young Man Invited to Apply for Cashier Position After Performance at Self-checkout
The Ballard PCC staff room is buzzing with excitement today over the potential recruitment of grocery store regular Ethan Bilmore, who was invited to...
#SmallBusinessSaturday Hero Eats City’s Entire Supply of Local Burgers, Donuts and Ice Cream
Financially struggling small businesses across the city are hailing Seattle resident Henry Rudolph today as a #SmallBusinessSaturday hero for somehow eating the city’s entire...
Tucker Carlson Questions Why Dark Meat Needs to Be Served at Thanksgiving
Ahead of the long holiday weekend, today Fox News host Tucker Carlson said on his nationally televised program he just wanted to know why...
Ghost of Jimi Hendrix Also Bummed It Has to Drive to Renton to Visit Grave
Ghost of late guitar legend Jimi Hendrix reluctantly visited his Renton Highlands gravesite under the duress of out-of-town guests today, a Greenwood Memorial Park...
Howard Schultz Crashes Wedding to Stop Marital Union from Being Recognized
Howard Schultz’s anti-union crusade continued today after the interim Starbucks CEO crashed a local wedding to prevent the couple’s marital union from being recognized.
“I...
Deep-fried Omicron Booster Debuts at Washington State Fair
The surprise hit of this year’s Washington State Fair, adventurous patrons are skipping carnival rides to wait in line for beer-battered, butter-slathered, deep-fried Omicron...
