Melinda and MacKenzie Announce New Initiative to Help Women at Risk of Dating Tech Bros
Two of the richest women in the world—divorcees of tech billionaires Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates—announced today that for this year’s season of giving...
Jenny Durkan Teases New Public Record Dropping January 6
While the city awaits the results of the Recall Sawant special election, Mayor Jenny Durkan unexpectedly took back the spotlight today by teasing a...
Broken Light Rail Escalators to Be Renamed the ‘Mitch Hedberg Memorial Temporary Stairs’
Today Sound Transit announced that instead of ever finding a way to make sure escalators at the Capitol Hill Light Rail station work at...
Alex Honnold’s Credibility Questioned After Reports He Uses Ropes in Offseason
Shocking reports from Smith Rock State Park surfaced today after eyewitnesses claimed to have seen legendary free-solo rock climber Alex Honnold using a rope...
Cranberry Sauce Performs Seductive Little Shimmy Out of Can
Visitors of a local Thanksgiving feast were treated to dinner and a show today after a can of jellied cranberry sauce performed a seductive...
Pete Carroll Replaces Gum with Turkey Giblet
Looking to rebound from the recent retirement announcement of his longtime chewing gum, today Seahawks coach and chronic masticator Pete Carroll revealed what’s already...
SPD Stocks Up on Tear Gas After Receiving Tip About ‘Black Friday’ Events Around the City
In an act of extreme precaution and concern for public safety, the Seattle Police Department confirmed today it’s stocking up on tear gas after...
Imaginary Girlfriend in Canada Still Unable to Cross Border into U.S.
Local man Lucas Anderson failed to surprise anyone today with an announcement that, despite the opening of the northern U.S. border more than a...
Seattle Sports Losing Streak Continues After LA Reclaims Worst Arena Title
As if a recent streak of losses for the Seahawks, Kraken and Huskies wasn’t painful enough, Seattle sports fans were reportedly devastated to discover...
Seattle Tech Giants Partner to Offer NFT Homes to Unhoused Community
In an unprecedented philanthropic partnership, Seattle leaders of tech giants Amazon, Microsoft, Meta and Google announced today they’ll be working together to offer NFT...
