Both WB I-90 and WB 520 Bridges to Close This Weekend Because Fuck Bellevue
After back-to-back weekends of each Lake Washington bridge taking turns with westbound closures, today WSDOT announced that both WB I-90 and WB 520 bridges...
Nobel Prize Awarded to Only Downtown Coffee Shop with Open Public Bathroom
As the Nobel Committee announced its annual honors this week, today one local café was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for being the only...
Local Non-Profit Politely Declines MacKenzie Scott’s Donation of Second Husband
Today local non-profit Meals on Wheels on Wheels announced that although it was honored to be selected as a beneficiary of a donation from...
Mariners Fans Still Skeptical They’ll Make Playoffs
After the Mariners triumphantly broke the longest playoff drought in men’s professional sports history Friday night, Seattle M’s fans confessed they’re still highly skeptical...
Man Halfway Through 4th Peanut Butter Milk Stout Not Sure If Pang in Stomach is Regret or Diarrhea
As fall’s arrival kicks off craft beer season, tonight one local man’s ill-advised decision to indulge in a fourth peanut butter milk stout has...
Museum of Museums Acquires New Museum for Museum’s Collection of Museum Museums
The museum to end all museums, today the Seattle’s Museum of Museums acquired a new museum to add to the museum’s permanent collection of...
Tuba Players and Accordionists to Finally Get Laid as Hispanic Heritage Month and Oktoberfest Approach
The change in seasons becomes official this week as the combination of Hispanic Heritage Month and Oktoberfest brings about the annual laying of the...
Seattle Still Choked with Smoke After Russell Wilson Attempts to Cook at Lumen Field
Just when the Puget Sound region thought they were going to be granted some respite from the Bolt Creek Fire, former Seahawks quarterback Russell...
Microsoft Worker Still Thinks He Can Convince Friends to Use Bing
In the middle of a heated argument over the name of the actor who played Mr. Belvedere, 34-year-old Microsoft UX Designer Steve Ashby tragically...
Squatch Added to All-Star Zoo Doo Donor Line-up
Supersonics fans throughout the Seattle area rejoiced today upon hearing legendary basketball team mascot Squatch has been added to the Woodland Park Zoo’s prestigious...
