Idaho Lawmakers Demand Easter Bunny’s Ovulation Tracker Data
In yet another radically right-wing, unconstitutional move, today Idaho state lawmakers passed a bill demanding all of the Easter Bunny’s ovulation tracker data.
“As a...
Giant Hole in Front of Seattle City Hall Finally Converted into Giant Ball Pit
Finally giving up all hopes of a developer ever building anything inside the empty, gaping hole that’s been sitting in front of Seattle City...
West Seattle Woman Too Goth to Even Work At Luna Park Café
According to shocked local witnesses, yesterday Morticia Wormwood was turned away from a job interview at West Seattle’s famous 50’s diner, Luna Park Café,...
New Canlis Menu Written by ChatGPT Promises ‘Cunnilingus Adventure for Your Taste Birds’
No stranger to experimentation, famed dining destination Canlis reportedly asked AI chatbot ChatGPT to write tonight’s special menu, but discovered they might have a...
Seattle ‘Love Is Blind’ Singles Instantly Fall in Love Over Shared Passion for Avoiding Eye Contact
A teaser trailer out today for this season’s Seattle-based “Love Is Blind” dating reality show reveals this may be the series’ most successful yet...
5 Ways to Hide Your Schadenfreude When You Find Out a Tech Bro Just Lost His Job
As thousands of tech industry workers face the difficulty of losing their jobs—including 9,000 Amazon workers laid off this week alone—it’s saddling thousands more...
Jealous Daffodil Day Flower Confesses It Ordered the Hit on Pike Place Market Cherry Trees
Just a week after eight beautiful cherry trees lining the entrance to Pike Place Market were butchered right before they were set to blossom...
Old Seattleite Once Again Passes Off Almost Live! Joke As His Own to Clueless Transplants
Longtime Seattleite Todd Miller had his coworkers in stitches this week joking about how everyone gets the streets Pike and Pine confused, artfully passing...
Local FBI Agent Confused, Disappointed by Pi Day Celebrations
Local FBI Agent Dale Cooper went on record today to say that despite today, March 14, allegedly being Pi Day, he was disappointed to...
Tennessee Lawmakers Ban Travel to Seattle After Learning About Utilikilts
After hearing reports about the popularity of the made-in-Seattle utilitarian, un-bifurcated garments, today conservative legislators in Tennessee announced a travel-to-Seattle ban to save their...
