After Reopening Alcatraz, Trump Pledges to ‘Fire Up the Pipes’ at Seattle’s Gas Works Park
Still riding high off his decision to reopen Alcatraz, President Donald Trump has now set his sights on Seattle’s Gas Works Park, pledging to...
White Smoke Billowing Out of City Hall Just Rob Saka’s Brain Overheating Thinking About Traffic Medians
Fire officials say the pillars of white smoke billowing out of City Hall is actually just steam shooting out of Seattle City Councilmember Rob...
Spokane Admits It Keeps the ‘e’ Because It Hates Itself Too
After years of people speculating about why the Eastern Washington city of Spokane spells its name in a way that inevitably gets it constantly...
Pratt Fine Arts Center Asked to Cancel DIY Classes or Risk Losing Federal Funding
Today Seattle’s Pratt Fine Arts Center became the next educational institution threatened with federal funding cuts by the Trump administration after someone reported them...
Mayor Harrell Deploys Denny Blaine Money Shot Spotter
Following through on a promise months ago to build “public masturbation deterrent infrastructure” at Denny Blaine Park, today Seattle Mayor Bruce Harrell installed a...
New AmazonSmile Charity Lets You Help Burn Down Independent Bookstores
AmazonSmile announced today that customers can now donate a fraction of their purchases to a new charity specializing in setting fire to independent bookstores.“The...
‘Are You Celebrating This Weekend?’ How to Tell If Your Coworker Means Easter or 4/20
Oh no: Your coworker is asking if you’re celebrating this weekend, but you have no idea if they’re talking about getting high for 4/20...
Man Walking Two Perky Pups Reminds Woman His Eyes Are Up Here
A man walking around Green Lake was aghast today when he had to remind a nearby woman that his “eyes are up here,” not...
Pfizer to Release New Breakthrough Depression Medication Called Money
Researchers at Pfizer announced a breakthrough medication today they say cures depression with an unprecedented 95 percent success rate they’re calling Money.
“Our trials concluded...
Mother Earth Fired for Being DEI Planet
After dutifully serving in her non-partisan role as the planet we live on for 4.5 billion years, Mother Earth was fired in a midnight...
