People Overwhelmed by Political News Encouraged to Just Stare at Wall Blankly for a Little While
Mental health experts came together today to remind people overwhelmed by the constant barrage of chaotic political news that there’s nothing better for their...
Homeless Man Just Grateful He’s Not Sleeping in a Tesla
As one local man prepared to spend another night in Seattle homeless wondering when a bed or a better-paying job might come his way,...
UW Frat Star Refuses to Get REAL ID, Says Fake ID Works Just Fine
After repeated reminders that acquiring a REAL ID is mandatory federal requirement, 20-year-old University of Washington frat star Brad Ericks assured his friends and...
Taylor Shellfish Farms Introduces New Easier-to-Clean Geoducks
Today the Puget Sound’s Taylor Shellfish Farms made local seafood history again with the launch of its exclusive new product: pre-cut, easier-to-clean geoducks.
“Are you...
Republican Lawmakers Warn That Abortion Ban Exceptions Will Lead to Dangerous Shortage of Child Labor
A coalition of Republican lawmakers came together today to warn that any exceptions in state abortion bans would lead to dangerous shortages of child...
Beautiful Day to Work Outside Abruptly Ended by 1-Degree Temperature Change
A beautiful spring day to work outside while enjoying the full sun and peak cherry-tree blooms came to an abrupt halt this afternoon in...
God Finally Answers Prayer but Accidentally Hits Reply All
God is profusely apologizing today after accidentally hitting reply all on a long-belated answer to a prayer from follower Timothy Berman asking to finally...
Dodger Shakes Hands with Kershaw
Today famed 1964 Draft Dodger Donald Trump shook hands with World Series-winning pitcher Clayton Kershaw.
"Wow, a real Dodger!” said Los Angeles pitcher Clayton Kershaw...
Kraken Mascot Fired After Reminding Mariners Fans Who Had the Blue Corndog First
Buoy was immediately fired today after the pantsless Seattle Kraken mascot took to the Climate Pledge Arena ice to “remind Mariner fans who had...
Lumen Field Innie Blissfully Unaware of Mariners
After years of his outie suffering extreme mental anguish due to one big Mariners loss after another, this year Lumen Field innie Matt S....
