Today famed 1964 Draft Dodger Donald Trump shook hands with World Series-winning pitcher Clayton Kershaw.
“Wow, a real Dodger!” said Los Angeles pitcher Clayton Kershaw as he enthusiastically shook hands with Trump today at the White House. “Only way I could become at least a pretend Dodger was, unlike you, allowing myself to be drafted. I can only hope that one day I can become a true Dodger like you by using my wealth to avoid being involuntarily enlisted into a completely unnecessarily deadly, costly, and cruel war with other countries.”
Trump famously dodged the Vietnam War draft four times in the 1960s.
“They wanted to draft me first round actually but they couldn’t catch me with my cowboy bone spurs,” Trump said. “Love Kershaw, but I don’t think it’ll be as easy for him to dodge a draft as me because according to my top-notch intelligence officials he’s apparently a lefty.”
At press time, the legendary Dodger was seen also dodging every attempt to finally teach him what a tariff is.
