Kennedy Center Adds 90 Minutes of RFK Jr.’s Warbled Scatting to Summer Jazz Series
Today the Kennedy Center amended their summer programming calendar to incorporate a full hour and a half of Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s scratchy, trilled...
Local Conservative Clarifies He’s Only Okay with Wearing Masks to Ruin Lives, Not Save Them
Today a local conservative and ICE agent who cried bloody murder when asked to wear a mask during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic...
Why a Man Who Threatened City Staff Investigating Wage Theft at His Men’s Only Club Is the Labor Hero Seattle Needs
MLK Labor is proud to give our sole endorsement for Seattle mayor to Bruce Harrell who—as a man who once threatened to defund a...
Federal Way Renames Itself Freeway Exit
After years of even its own residents being willing to get rid of their city’s admittedly lackluster name, today Federal Way announced it would...
Norwegian Hot Dog Kindly Asks to Be Put Out of Its Misery
Today a Norwegian hot dog served in a dry tortilla to a transplant who’d never had one before kindly begged to be put all...
‘I’m from Seattle,’ Says Liar from Shoreline
In an astonishingly false statement, today local Shoreline resident Jeffrey Willows announced to a set of strangers that he is from Seattle.
The statement came...
Disturbing New Report Reveals Average American Swallows Several 7-11 Hot Dogs in Sleep Each Year
A disturbing new report released today reveals that the average American swallows up to a half-dozen 7-11 hot dogs in their sleep each year.
"It...
Redmond Finally Relevant Enough to Be In Needling Headline
Thousands gathered in Redmond over the weekend at its two new Sound Transit light rail stations to celebrate the Seattle suburb finally being interesting...
Trump Wishes Himself a Happy Mother’s Day
As hardworking mothers across the country woke up this morning to flowers, breakfasts in bed, and macaroni art, today President Donald Trump told everyone...
ICE Deports Mariner Moose Back to Canada
The Mariner Moose was reportedly deported back to his native Canada by ICE agents today despite being a legal U.S. resident for the past...
