Pratt Fine Arts Center Asked to Cancel DIY Classes or Risk Losing Federal Funding

Today Seattle’s Pratt Fine Arts Center became the next educational institution threatened with federal funding cuts by the Trump administration after someone reported them for teaching DIY classes.

“Pratt must immediately cancel all DIY classes, or the administration will pull all of its generous federal funding support for glue, precious amazing smelling glue and thick, heavenly scented sharpies,” said White House spokesperson Karoline Leavitt. “President Trump has been more than clear about where he stands on this issue. Additionally, Pratt is also testing our patience with their controversial openness to mixed media.”

Pratt Director Amy Castelle said the local arts school was blindsided by the threat.

“This is all a mistake of course—I tried to get someone to explain to the president that DIY and DEI are two different things but I think we’re going to have about as much luck with that as we’ve all had getting him to understand what a tariff actually is,” said Castelle while nervously hiding what looked like “DIY” letters tattooed on her knuckles. “Then again, from the looks of the diaper he’s wearing under his pants every day, maybe he does hate both DEI and DIY.”

At press time, Trump had moved on to pointing his ire at WSDOT’s social media team for its alleged ties to MS-Paint.