Bernie Sanders Uses Captive Tacoma Audience to Unveil One-Man Performance of ‘Cats’
Bernie Sanders’ historic Tacoma Dome rally took a strange
turn last night as he took the momentous opportunity to premiere a self-produced
one-man production of long-running...
Seattle Selfie Museum Unveils Tasteful Dick Pic Gallery
Seattle’s newest vainglorious attraction, the Seattle Selfie
Museum, announced today that it’s unsheathing its latest interactive exhibition
this week just in time for Valentine’s Day: The...
Fremont Troll Urged to Clutch More Fuel-Efficient Vehicle in Menacing Grasp
Local climate change activists are picketing the famed Fremont Troll today, saying the gas-guzzling Volkswagen Beetle clutched in its gigantic, gnarled hands sets a...
Vegan Wants Authentic Southern Food Experience
Moments after being seated at Junebaby, Ravenna’s James Beard Award-winning Southern food restaurant, vegan Jenny Park formally announced to her friend and server that...
Neighbor Stands Vigil at Unmarked Curbside Parking Space
In an unforgettable show of devotion to peripheral homeowner property, Ballard resident Tom Watkins has stood constant vigil at the unmarked curbside parking space...
Mucinex Booger Awarded Presidential Medal of Freedom
With bated breath to avoid airborne infection, audiences watched
with awe as President Donald Trump awarded another Presidential Medal of
Freedom today to the legendary Mucinex...
Silly Cyclist Thinks Road Meant for Him Too
Hundreds of commuting cars crowded around one adorable cyclist
today who was delusionally acting like the streets of Seattle are meant for him
too.
“Aw, look...
Dog Ignored On Walk
An attention-starved Yorkie’s hopes for love were dashed again today when his owner spent the entirety of another post-workday walk around Maple Leaf Reservoir...
Breaking: New NHL Team Reportedly Named Seattle Not-the-SuperSonics
After a sports radio program reportedly leaked the
long-awaited name of Seattle’s new hockey team today, National Hockey League
officials are neither confirming nor denying that...
Pike Place Market Workers Begin Throwing Impossible Salmon
Pike
Place Market’s famous fishmongers began a new Seattle tradition this week with
the hurling of Impossible Salmon, the latest meat-like lab-made concoction from
vegan-friendly company Impossible...
