Face Mask Shortage Leading to Unexpected Rise in BDSM Experimentation
Amid
severe shortages of face masks during the worldwide coronavirus pandemic, reports
are flooding in that homes across the country are experiencing a rapid rise in
BDSM...
Microsoft Windows Update Team Can Now Work Directly from Hell
With the announcement that all Microsoft employees should utilize
remote work options for the rest of the month, the Windows Update team rejoiced
as they can...
CDC Recommends Indulging in Purell Bath Bombs This #SelfCareSunday
The Center for Disease Control has announced new coronavirus guidelines today, reminding the public of the importance of practicing antibacterial self-care to safeguard against...
Residents Throughout Seattle Area Canceling Plans to Cancel Plans
Due to public health officials already successfully lobbying
for the cancellation of most social events during the local coronavirus outbreak,
millions across the Seattle area announced...
“Who’s Ready to Stop-and-Risk It All?” Asks Newest Bloomberg Ad
Following a series of widely mocked billboards, targeted ads and sponsored memes, the Mike Bloomberg 2020 campaign has pivoted to its newest initiative, this...
Local Tech Startup to Offer Beer In Lieu of Health Benefits
To stay competitive with tech giants like Google and Microsoft that offer free meals and massages, startups like local tech biz PhoneTap are offering...
Man’s Waterfront View Blocked by Another Man’s Waterfront View
One Belltown man's expansive view of the Puget Sound apartment disappeared today when it was suddenly replaced by a view of the 40-story Arrive...
CDC Advises Public to Avoid People Who Go On Cruises
Amid fears that the Coronavirus may spread internationally, today the Center of Disease Control urged the general public to obnoxiously cover their mouths every...
Death Toll Climbs in Ballard Dessert Shop Turf War
Fighting between factions of Ballard’s trendy dessert establishments continued to escalate this week with no signs of abating.
The Hot Cakes and Frankie &...
Report: Mountain One Sexy Bitch
Bright sunshine inspired one local mountain to shrug off the
thick blankets of winter gray she’d been hiding in for months, standing in what
millions in...
