Woman Swears Brunch Outfit is Not Pajamas
A Pioneer Square woman’s Sunday plans to enjoy a relaxing brunch at London Plane with a friend visiting from Paris were dashed by repeated accusations that she was publicly dining in pajamas.
“Leggings and an...
Man Looking for Sweet Deal on New or Pre-owned Coping Mechanism
Greenwood resident Ethan Buell announced to friends and family Monday afternoon that he was headed to Aurora Avenue to scour dealerships in the hopes of finding a sweet deal on a new or pre-owned...
Jesus Just Kind Of Wondering Why Wedding Proposal Had To Be On His Birthday
After witnessing yet another romantic Pike Place Market wedding proposal between two Seattle sweethearts, Jesus Christ is reporting he’s wondering why they had to do it on his birthday.
“I just kind of thought today...
2019 Starbucks Holiday Cup to Highlight Inclusivity by Offending All
If the uniformly shocked and offended faces of Starbucks devotees at its surprise 2019 Holiday Cup unveiling Thursday morning were any indication, the company’s marketing team may have found its most inclusive Holiday Cup...
Zoo Removes Replica Icecaps from Polar Bear Exhibit
In an effort to make its polar bear exhibit as authentic as possible, Woodland Park Zoo officials are removing the fiberglass icebergs from their polar bear exhibit. “The bears haven’t taken the change well,”...
The Needling 2018: Top 5 Headlines of the Year
What a year! From the Fremont Troll moving to a Tukwila Applebee's parking lot to the Great Wheel going so fast it skidded off the Seattle waterfront, 2018 certainly has brought changes we never...
Seattle Coffee Shops Thrust Back at Starbucks Porn Ban
A collective of independent coffee shops in Seattle are firing back at Starbucks’ plan to ban pornography from their in-store wifi, offering customers the kind of double-dicking, elbow-deep, all-anal action that leaves absolutely nothing...
Dan Replaces Fremont Sign as New Center of the Universe
Following the disappearance of Fremont’s famed Center of the Universe guidepost sign, area resident Dan Smithsfield has offered himself up as its "long-overdue replacement."
Standing resolutely in the center of Fremont’s busiest intersection, Dan opened...
Man Argues Every Bruce Willis Movie Is A Christmas Movie
Mike Gallardo of Lake City spent all six hours of his friend’s Christmas holiday party asserting that every film featuring Bruce Willis is a Christmas movie.
“Look Who’s Talking — unplanned pregnancy? Hello! Christmas...
Therapist’s Office Has Great View of South Lake Union But Windows Don’t Open
We're interrupting your regularly scheduled broadcast of fake news to bring you this breaking report: Life can be rough. Please have empathy for those who may be struggling, including yourself. If you or someone...
