State of Washington Gives Up, Will Change Name to Seattle
Tired of explaining that they do not live in the District of Columbia or an amorphous city-state that stretches from the Pacific Ocean to...
‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ Author Reveals Book Inspired by Sadomasochistic Relationship with E-Line Bus
In an exclusive interview with The Needling, Fifty Shades of Grey author E.L. James revealed her best-selling series was actually inspired by a brief...
Determined to Seal Deal on First Stanley Cup Victory, Kraken Sign New Goalie Tonya Harding
Building off the momentum of securing their first visit to the Stanley Cup playoffs last week, today the Seattle Kraken confirmed its late-season signing...
6’5 Guy Not Such Hot Shit Now That He’s Blocking Everyone’s View at The Showbox
One local 6’5 guy has gone from dating-app darling to most hated man at The Showbox and perhaps beyond today after parking himself in...
Remote Worker Saving Environment by Stationary Biking to Work
Committing to never harm the environment by driving a car to work again, today local remote employee Jimmy Stills vowed the only way he’s...
Tractor Tavern Changes Name to ‘That Beard Band Place’
Beloved Ballard music venue Tractor Tavern announced suddenly
today that, due to popular involuntary rebrand, it’s officially changed its
name to ‘That Beard Band Place.’
“There’s so...
Local Mom Blows Dust Off Uneaten Marshmallow Peeps for 7th Straight Year
Continuing an Easter tradition like no other, today one local Mom retrieved the uneaten marshmallow peeps from a box in the garage and blew...
Sick Bastard Puts Olive Oil in Coffee and Then Restricts Bathroom Access
As Howard Schultz prepares to take a bow at Starbucks, the CEO announced his final act would be infusing coffee with olive oil in...
Idaho Lawmakers Demand Easter Bunny’s Ovulation Tracker Data
In yet another radically right-wing, unconstitutional move, today Idaho state lawmakers passed a bill demanding all of the Easter Bunny’s ovulation tracker data.
“As a...
Aw! These Oregonians Think Mount Hood Is Worth Taking Pictures Of
One Seattle resident’s quick work trip down to Portland this week led to the discovery of Oregonians who think Mount Hood is actually worth...
