Walla Walla Back in Commission After Washington Ferries Recruit UW Crew Team
Worries that the Walla Walla might stay out of commission after a complete mechanical failure caused it to run aground on Bainbridge Island with...
Mayor Harrell Announces Plan to Relocate Space Needle to His Cousin’s Lawyer’s Sister’s Property on Harbor Island
In a surprise press conference this afternoon, Seattle Mayor Bruce Harrell announced that he will be using an executive order and a couple close...
Man Always Thinks of Perfect Gun to Win Argument With Later in the Shower
Following a missed opportunity to finally exercise his Second Amendment rights during a heated traffic dispute today, one man lamented the fact that he...
Mayor Harrell Urges Everyone to Climax at the Same Time During One Seattle Day of Service
In an effort to reach the elusive pinnacle of collective harmony and union he’s promised the city ever since running for office, today Mayor...
Neighborhood Cats Rejoice as Bongos’ Giant Litter Box Opens for Spring
Green Lake-area cats have declared litter box season officially open after the beloved Caribbean restaurant Bongos Cafe opened its giant sand-covered patio for the...
‘So When Are You Going to Bless Me With Grandkids?’ Asks Local Mom Sparking Jumper Cables
As countless Mother’s Day visits inevitably turn to the subject of grandkids today, one local mom turned to more unconventional methods to gather intelligence...
Beautiful Day to Read a Book Outside Actually Too Bright a Day to Read Outside
Thousands of people across Seattle are reporting that what at first seemed the most beautiful, picture-perfect day to read a book outside is actually...
36-Year-Old Son Panics, Reverts to Giving Mom Finger Painting
In a frightened, last-ditch effort to surprise his mommy with the perfect Mother’s Day gift, local 36-year-old man and State Farm agent Zeke Gibson...
Belltown Resident Excited Order Tracker Shows Only 90,000 Minutes Left Until Moto Pizza Ready
Overjoyed that he won’t have to wait literally forever to satisfy his craving for Detroit-style pizza here in Seattle, today Belltown resident Bryan Miller...
Ugh: White Coworker’s Cinco de Mayo Guacamole Has Raisins in It Again
A local office Cinco de Mayo potluck took a tragic turn today when coworkers discovered that Teresa from Sales had once again destroyed an...
