Bezos Surprised, Delighted More People Suddenly Support Him Going Back to Space for Some Reason
Admittedly a little crestfallen so many people criticized his first trip to outer space two years ago, billionaire and former Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos...
Volunteer Park Squirrels No Longer Content Taking Candy from Babies, Begin Carjackings
This weekend Capitol Hill residents were shocked to discover that the Volunteer Park squirrels—long known for their utter lack of fear and ravenous taste...
Kraken Bandwagon Stuck in Queen Anne Traffic
As thousands of fans clamored into Climate Pledge Arena and nearby bars to cheer on the Kraken's exciting playoff run tonight, a full Kraken...
Straight Ally at Seattle Pride Really Needs Everyone to Know They’re Straight
Today local straight LGBTQI+ ally Kayleigh Klayton announced at Seattle Pride today that she really needs everyone to know she has their backs no...
Local Drag Queen Actually Not That Into Reading to Kids
After being hounded to attend countless Drag Story Hours from Seattle to Portland for too long, today local drag queen Moxie La Croix came...
Lime Bike Holds Flash Sale After Fremont Solstice Parade Ride
After the weekend’s annual Fremont Solstice Parade reminded them of “how much Seattle loves bicycles,” today Lime Bikes announced a flash sale on their...
Seattle Man Gets ‘Death Before Umbrella’ Tattoo
One local man forever enshrined his hardcore Seattle pride in ink today after heading to a nearby tattoo shop and getting a “Death Before...
Amazon Welcomes Employees Back to Office with New Bunk Desks
Amazon workers returning for their mandatory three days per week back into the office were met with a surprise today after discovering that the...
Elon Musk Cheers OceanGate on Success of Submersible Implosion
Even though the ill-fated Titan did not accomplish all of its desired mission goals this week, today CEO Elon Musk tweeted congratulations to OceanGate...
White Ally Anxiously Awaits Invite to Juneteenth Cookout
Semi-confident she’s been a good enough white person to finally be invited to the Juneteenth cookout, self-proclaimed ally Allison Wetzel announced today she’s cautiously...
