Pearl Jam Album Played Backwards Contains English Language
While searching for subliminal satanic commands, a young Spokane teenager was surprised to instead find discernible English words when playing Pearl Jam’s Yellow Ledbetter...
Only Uncoupled Sibling on Family Vacation Asked If They Mind Sleeping in Pantry
In a turn of events that surprised no one except himself, local son William Briggs was politely asked by his parents during their annual...
Seattle Gen-Zer Starting to See Why People Want the Sonics to Come Back to Seattle So Bad
After stopping by a Sonic Drive-in for the first time on her way back from TikToking a hike, 19-year-old Seattle Gen-Zer Hannah Larson said...
North Bend Zebra Just Gonna Lie Low with Sasquatch Until This All Blows Over
After a stressful few days of being chased and mobbed by local paparazzi, today the North Bend Zebra is reportedly lying low in a...
City Council Grants SPD $500 Million Budget for Flaming Eye Atop Space Needle That Points Toward Suspected Crimes
The Seattle City Council approved a $500 million budget today that gives the Seattle Police Department a flaming eye atop the Space Needle that...
Wallingford Foodies with BLM Bumper Sticker Just Haven’t Had Time to Try Neighborhood’s Only Black-Owned Restaurant
Today white Wallingford foodies Lauren and Chris Stein said that five years after they plastered a Black Lives Matter bumper sticker to their Subaru...
Publicly Threatening to Lose Your Motherfucking Shit and 5 Other Great Ways to Ask for More Civility
Guest Column by District 5 Seattle City Councilmember Cathy Moore
We live in extremely politically divisive times, and that’s why it’s more important than ever...
Desperate Mayor Attempts to Summon NBA Franchise Back by Chanting ‘SuperSonics’ In Mirror 3 Times
Staffers reportedly found Mayor Bruce Harrell in a City Hall bathroom today, sweaty and distraught, chanting “SuperSonics” while splashing a mirror and then twirling...
Pacific Place Mall Offered Up on Buy Nothing Group
After a series of unsuccessful listings elsewhere, today struggling local mall Pacific Place was spotted for offer on the Buy Nothing Downtown Seattle Facebook...
Bing Still Pretty Sure Millions of Former Google Search Engine Users Should Be Showing Up Any Time Now
After Google’s launch of its laughably inaccurate AI Overviews went so badly last week that users began checking out other search engines for the...
