Mount Rainier No Longer Accepting Walk-Ins
After trying for too long to accommodate her growing social media popularity and worldwide fame, Mount Rainier has for the first time stationed a...
Alki Regrets Getting Statue of Liberty from Temu
As Seattleites prepared to celebrate 4th of July festivities around it again, today the West Seattle neighborhood of Alki finally publicly apologized for purchasing...
Man Protesting Drag Brunch Actually Just Protesting Brunch
This morning a man many thought was a homophobe as he loudly protested a Pride Weekend drag brunch on Capitol Hill was reportedly actually...
Impressive Reckless Driving Record Scores Belltown Hellcat Job at SPD
After months of terrorizing and waking up Downtown Seattle with his insanely loud tiger-striped Dodge Charger that barrels down streets at more than 100...
Costco Launches New Kirkland Signature Branded Poppers For Pride Month
This week Costco left other companies celebrating Pride Month-themed products in the dust with the launch of its new wholesale line of cheeseball tub-sized...
Vote-Blue-No-Matter-Who Voter Actually Just Really Into Corpses
Today a voter who’s been swearing up and down for months that they’d vote for any Democrat over Trump—even a literal corpse of one—admitted...
Couple Brings Golden Retriever to Wrong Puppy Play Meetup
A local couple apologized today after bringing their golden retriever, Benji, to what they quickly realized was the wrong puppy play meetup in Capitol...
Bite of Seattle Promises Wide Variety of Zero Bites from Seattle
Featuring a wide variety of franchised food truck vendors from LA to Orange County, the Bite of Seattle’s new California-based owner and operator says...
Tired of Shark Week Typecasting, Sharks Demand More Romantic Lead Roles
Fed up with the stereotyping perpetuated by popular entertainment like Shark Week, today a coalition of sharks demanded being given more romantic lead roles.
“All...
Inslee Discovers He Has Enough PTO to Stop Being Governor Right Now
This morning Washington State Governor Jay Inslee was reportedly shocked when he stopped staring at the summer weather outside long enough to discover he’d...
