Report: Chasing Approval of Total Dick Still Bad Idea
A groundbreaking report out today sent shockwaves throughout the will never learn their damn lesson community after it conclusively confirmed that chasing for approval...
“These People Drive Like Idiots,” Say 12,000 I-5 Drivers in Unison
In a display of universal synchronicity during today’s rush hour, a record 12,287 I-5 drivers collectively complained “you all drive like complete goddamn jagoffs”...
Spawning Humans Return to Auburn to Breed and Then Slowly Die
As seasons change and nature takes its course, it’s that bittersweet time of year again when spawning humans begin returning to Auburn to breed...
Seattle Public Utilities Fines Oscar the Grouch for Not Living in Compost Bin
Controversy erupted today at the news that resident trash-muppet Oscar the Grouch was fined by Seattle Public Utilities for living in a trash can...
Fun Sized Candy Isn’t
Contrary to claims on the front of bags of confections packing grocery store aisles for the holiday season, reports are coming in from candy...
Aw! These Local Politicians Commented on Israel Killing an American from Seattle So the President Didn’t Have To
In a touching display of devotion toward one of the undeniably best presidents the United States has ever had, today local Washington state politicians...
New Haunted Seattle Tour Guides Visitors Through Mariners Dugout
As of this week, fans of cryptic local history don’t always have to head down to Pike Place Market, Bill Speidel’s Underground Tour or...
Waterfront Seattle to Open New Bike Lane As Soon as They Finish Sharpening Low Steel Fencing
After years of wondering whether the city’s Waterfront Seattle planners were ever going to prioritize any mode of transportation other than cars, today they...
Millennial Parent at Trunk or Treat Can’t Help But Feel Weird Telling Kid to Take Candy From Stranger in Van
One local millennial parent was struggling to adjust to new Halloween ‘Trunk or Treat’ traditions after years of being told to never take candy...
Boeing Threatens Striking Workers with Airline Tickets
After striking IAMAW members voted to reject the latest labor deal by 64%, Boeing is now threatening the union with airline tickets on Boeing...
