Controversy erupted today at the news that resident trash-muppet Oscar the Grouch was fined by Seattle Public Utilities for living in a trash can instead of the compost bin.
“Mr. Grouch ignored all of our previous cutesy ‘Oops’ sticker warnings and is subject to the same penalties as every other customer in our service area,” claimed SPU attorney Aloysius Snuffleupagus. “It’s very simple: Trash goes in the trash and organic matter goes in the compost. Just because Mr. Grouch has a low opinion of himself does not mean he is automatically trash. And, look, we do sympathize with Mr. Grouch. Being eco-friendly and knowing where to dispose of this-and-that is hard. Nobody ever said it was easy being green.”
Oscar the Grouch sees the fine as a targeted attack on his civil liberties.
“Do you think I want to live in the trash?” bemoaned Oscar. “After I got laid off from Salesforce, this is the best I can do. And what about this ‘the Grouch’ business? You’d be grouchy too if you lost your healthcare and couldn’t afford your Wellbutrin and the Supreme Court declared open season on the unhoused and you have to live in a trash can and then the city of Seattle says you’re not even doing that right! You think I can pay this ticket? Hello! I live in a trash can!”
The Seattle/King County Coalition on Homelessness is raising money to help Oscar pay the fine and is working to get him into a shelter. So far he has refused housing that would force him to separate from his girlfriend Grundgetta.
Seattle Public Utilities Fines Oscar the Grouch for Not Living in Compost Bin
