Seattle Wishes Retiring Steve Pool Well As He Flicks Off Weather Control Device for Last Time
Steve Pool, weather reporter and one of Seattle’s most beloved figures, retired today after 40 years of service. As he left the office, Steve...
Blue Friday-Dressed Californian Believes He’s ‘Finally Fitting In’
In an adorable show of desperate bandwagoning, one apparently lost Californian confidently wandered into a Downtown Seattle office for today's Blue Friday dressed head-to-toe...
Seattle Public Library to Start Paying People to Read a Damn Book
Seattle
Public Library’s new policy of eliminating all late fees for overdue items that
began on Jan. 2 is already expanding to paying anyone to read...
UW Students Protest New ‘Bowser Center for Esports’ Arena Named For Historic Tyrant
The University of Washington’s new
Esports arena has found itself mired in controversy following the decision to
name it for Bowser, who many with any common...
Pete Carroll Blows Out Jaw, Tears TMJ
In a devastating addition to the Seattle Seahawks' injury report, it appears Head Coach Pete Carroll gnawed into his signature gum so hard this...
‘My Precious…’ Moans I-5 Motorist, Stroking $30 Car Tab in 14th Hour of Commute
Following the apparent passage of Tim Eyman’s I-976 last week, initiative
supporters are celebrating by covering up the rumbling sounds of crumbling
public transportation infrastructure on...
Knife Fight Breaks Out Amongst Ravenna Roommates Over Composting Argument
A clash over proper composting methods between two rival roommates in an eco-friendly Ravenna household today reportedly resulted in an old-fashioned knifefight for the...
Metropolitan Market Introduces New ‘Prepared Friends To-Go’
Queen Anne, Seattle – The Seattle Grocery Store
Wars are heating up again today as upscale retailer Metropolitan Market
released “Prepared Friends To-Go,” a new service...
Desperate Pete Carroll Spends Sunday Morning Luring Marshawn Lynch to CenturyLink with Trail of Skittles
Facing a slew of injuries heading into the final game of the regular season, a desperate Seattle Seahawks head coach Pete Carroll spent game...
Panicked Social Media Managers Furiously Crank Out Kwanzaa Tweet
A silent night turned into a cacophony of clattering keyboards as the nation’s social media managers roused from their beds last night to crank...
