Seattle Selfie Museum Unveils Tasteful Dick Pic Gallery
Seattle’s newest vainglorious attraction, the Seattle Selfie
Museum, announced today that it’s unsheathing its latest interactive exhibition
this week just in time for Valentine’s Day: The...
Fremont Troll Urged to Clutch More Fuel-Efficient Vehicle in Menacing Grasp
Local climate change activists are picketing the famed Fremont Troll today, saying the gas-guzzling Volkswagen Beetle clutched in its gigantic, gnarled hands sets a...
Vegan Wants Authentic Southern Food Experience
Moments after being seated at Junebaby, Ravenna’s James Beard Award-winning Southern food restaurant, vegan Jenny Park formally announced to her friend and server that...
Neighbor Stands Vigil at Unmarked Curbside Parking Space
In an unforgettable show of devotion to peripheral homeowner property, Ballard resident Tom Watkins has stood constant vigil at the unmarked curbside parking space...
With Transplants Out of Town, Seattle Natives Really Fucking Cutting Loose
Multiple
reports that no hordes of transplants are currently fucking up the local vibe
are pouring in from native Seattle residents across the city today, leaving
true...
Four Decades Late, Krampus Finally Eats Child Soldier-Promoting State Rep. Matt Shea
Krampus -- legendary half-goat/half-demon eater of misbehaved children before Christmas – confirmed he’d finally seen enough child soldier-endorsing bullshit from Washington State Rep. Matt...
Mucinex Booger Awarded Presidential Medal of Freedom
With bated breath to avoid airborne infection, audiences watched
with awe as President Donald Trump awarded another Presidential Medal of
Freedom today to the legendary Mucinex...
Silly Cyclist Thinks Road Meant for Him Too
Hundreds of commuting cars crowded around one adorable cyclist
today who was delusionally acting like the streets of Seattle are meant for him
too.
“Aw, look...
Lake View Cemetery Pop-Up Christmas Market Actually Kinda Dope
Critics skeptical of the
controversial location for this weekend’s Lake View Cemetery Pop-up Christmas
Market were quickly quieted after realizing that it was actually kinda dope.
“I...
Office Dog Shamelessly Commits HR Violation in Middle of Sales Floor
A Seattle office has been torn apart today as the resident office dog,
Mr. Puddles, was suspended from all adorable duties after committing a wanton
HR...
