Critics skeptical of the controversial location for this weekend’s Lake View Cemetery Pop-up Christmas Market were quickly quieted after realizing that it was actually kinda dope.
“I was ready to be offended by the audacity of someone hosting a Christmas market in a historic cemetery of all places, but, I gotta say, this is the sickest market I’ve been to all season,” said Paul Shelby, local Capitol Hill resident. “The ugly Christmas sweaters are sufficiently hideous without being tacky, they strung up these cute lights all over the mausoleums, and the raw napoles tacos are just to die for. And, get this: The DJ next to Bruce and Brandon Lee’s tombstones was spinning an obscure original edition Ecuadorian vinyl of Mariah Carey’s Christmas album and, all I gotta say is, ‘Todo lo que quiero para Navidad eres tú.’”
With pop-up Christmas markets filling up every inch of available real estate in the city of Seattle over the last month, festive shopping opportunities have begun to spring up in more and more unorthodox locations.
“Magnuson Park Maker’s Market, South Lake Union Winter Market, and the one inside the bathroom at Oddfellows — frankly, it’s been a little much,” said Bobby Burnside, placing his Moscow Mule on a nearby marble slab. “But this one is pretty great. Can you believe the details on this bomb-ass Home Alone ornament I found? You can totally see where that iron hit Daniel Stern in the face.”
The Fremont Clean Express Laundromat Pop-Up Christkindlmarkt is hoping for similar success next weekend.
