QAnon Wins Best Augmented Reality Game of the Year
After spending the year taking the nation by storm, today The Independent Gaming Association announced that QAnon has won Best Augmented Reality Game of...
Ruth Bader Ginsburg Flattered, But Can’t Accept Care Packages with Donated Organs
With the fate of American democracy hanging on the ability of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg to remain healthy, Justice Ginsburg has reportedly...
Local Idiot Thought Presidential Debate Would be Perfect Way to End Gorgeous Autumn Day
To cap a day of golden sunshine and clear blue skies so glorious it may have beat the best weather days of spring and...
Postmaster General Removes Mailbox Peak
Following orders from President Donald Trump to do anything necessary to sabotage mail-in voting operations for the presidential election this November, newly appointed United...
Plume of White Tear Gas Rising from City Hall Signals New Police Chief Has Been Chosen
Within 24 hours of the Seattle City Council defunding the local police budget and Police Chief Carmen Best's resignation, a plume of white tear...
Model Citizen Stakes Out Ballot Drop to Inform Stragglers He Voted Weeks Ago
August primary voters rushing to turn in their ballots at a Wallingford drop box at the last minute were aided tonight by local Good...
Modern-Day Casanova Sets First Zoom Date as ‘Recurring Meeting’
The online dating world was set aflutter today as word spread that one modern-day Casanova has been pre-emptively setting first dates up as ‘recurring...
Mariners Succumb to Seattle Kraken
After several days of stormy ups and downs, mariners aboard the Salty Seacod have reportedly succumbed tonight to the unstoppable tentacles of the Seattle...
Uber Eats Driver Frantically Delivering 15k Crab Cakes for Virtual Bite of Seattle
Following its announcement that it would go virtual this year, the annual Bite of Seattle has called upon a lone Uber Eats driver to...
Federal Officers Deployed After Radicalized Mom Cell Discovered in Joann Fabrics
Following a night of courageously teargassing Portland’s peaceful Wall of Moms, federal officers have now arrived in Seattle to thwart another cabal of...
